‘Twas Halloween night, and all across Twitter
Wrestling fans were popping for creatures and critters
The timeline was littered with scary and spooky
Yet the most evil of all could be considered quite kooky
A ghastly white face and a big toothy smile
Said Danhausen’s coming to frighten in style
A permanent grin though nothing was funny
Except he was here to steal big bags of money
Trick or treaters were scattered, on foot and on bike
While Danhausen was creeping, waiting to strike
From out of the bushes, our evil friend appeared
With a jar full of teeth and a speech that was weird
”Very nice, very evil, it’s the Danhausen way.
And Halloween night is my most powerful day!”
He spread his arms wide and he spun and he twirled
“Tonight’s the night Danhausen rules the world!”
The children all laughed at the comical ghoul
And Danhausen exclaimed “You children are cruel!”
The kids were in stitches. Danhausen was flustered.
He couldn’t compute the mocking he’d just heard
“Danhausen is the coolest, the definition of swag!
Now you, little vampire, give Danhausen your bag!”
The child was shaken, but he was ready to fight.
“You won’t be taking anything from me tonight!”
But Danhausen was quick and grabbed the bag in a flash
Laughing as he sprinted away with the stash
The children were fast, they were right on his tail
Screaming Danhausen was destined to fail
But Danhausen was faster, he turned on the gas
Until he heard “Give me my candy you ass!”
Danhausen stopped, and he spun around glaring
“You little brat, absolutely no swearing!”
In the midst of his anger, the bag hit the ground
And when he finally looked down he couldn’t believe what he found
This sack wasn’t filled with money at all!
Instead it was chocolates and assorted gum balls!
“I want human money, not a bag full of sweets!”
Danhausen exclaimed as they reclaimed their treats
He laid on the pavement, shaken with grief
As the children surrounded and pitied the thief
They pulled Danhausen up and wiped off his tears
But at the same moment they confirmed his fears
“We may not have money, but we can offer you this.”
Said a tiny Cowgirl holding a small Hershey’s Kiss
Danhausen scoffed, but put the sweet to his lips.
His eyes then grew wide, as the script had been flipped.
“It’s Halloween night and Danhausen has power
Let us get all the candy we can devour!”
They marched through the streets, knocking, no, pounding on doors
With Danhausen with them, they got even more than before!
When prowling the streets and asking for candy
Having pure evil walk with you is handy!
Soon bags were full and they squealed in delight
As they checked out their treasures from Halloween night
But through their wide smiles, their brains shifted gears
Danhausen was right, they’re getting money next year.